Hi everybody! It's time to get REAL. This story is about me, but really, it's about you. It's about smart women who are living unhappy, unfulfilled lives....in secret and it's time to stop.
My name is Jessica Grotfeldt and I am founder of Luz Eterna Retreats and PTSD "survivor"..... actually, I'm thriving after years of wondering if I would ever feel happy again.
This picture was taken many years ago. Looking at this picture you would never guess my history. For the longest time, I walked around concealing my true self because I didn't want anyone to know how I really felt inside.
This picture was taken right after I lost my father to cancer and it was, at the time, the hardest period of my life. I'm a fighter by nature so to make sense of the pain I decided to channel it into something positive as a way to heal. To honor my father's memory, I enrolled in a master's program for acupuncture so that I could help other people manage their journey with cancer. I reached my goal but it didn't take the pain of my loss away.
A few years later, I found myself in an abusive relationship with my long term partner. I never thought that it could happen to me. I was an educated, feminist, professional woman and I was deeply ashamed to admit to the world what was happening. Finally, our couples' therapist referred me to my own counselor (a specialist for victims of sexual violence and assault.) With her help, we came up with a plan, a few miracles followed (more on that later) and I moved out of state to new life, where I would be safe....or so I thought.
Starting a new life isn't easy and I was deeply lonely. It's difficult to admit, but I even found myself missing my abusive ex. My work life was growing but my personal life was pretty empty. I went on a few dates but found myself unwittingly attracting other abusive men.
Then one night, the unthinkable happened. I woke up to find a man standing in the doorway of my bedroom. It was pitch black. We struggled. And, thankfully, I was able to fight him off. Many people thought that I should feel triumphant, like a real "bad ass." But I felt the exact opposite.
As people clapped for me and congratulated me, my life began to fall apart. I began to see threats everywhere I looked. I began to shut down. I slept with weapons. I lost most of my friends. And my loneliness and isolation became complete.Until I started using plant medicine with the intention to heal these deep wounds, and that's when everything started to change.
This post is kind of about my story, but really, it's about your story. and the story of many more women. Smart, educated women. You "bad asses" running around out there in the world killing it. But deep inside you may be harboring trauma that embarrasses you. Emptiness that causes you to engage in destructive behaviors. Loneliness that causes anxiety and depression.
I know you are tired and yearn for the same things that I did. To feel a part of something. To finally heal the wounds that are holding you back. To experience joy!
I found the path back to a more fulfilling, more joyful, more connected life through the ceremony with plant medicine. I was surrounded by the love and support of an amazing group of women healers and with this work I have reemerged a better version of myself. I am no longer haunted by the past but use it as a tool to help others.
Luz Eterna Retreats is my prayer of gratitude for the life that I have now. My prayer for you and for all women to come together and remove the walls that you have created around your hearts. Life is precious and it is meant to be lived, not endured.
On October 27th in beautiful Oaxaca City, Mexico the journey back to joy begins. I have assembled an international group of incredible healers from around the world (Africa, Ecuador, Australia, Finland, Mexico, and the U.S) to guide us in prayer, in song, in nature and in beauty. We are the the ONLY SACRED MUSHROOM RETREATS exclusively FOR WOMEN BY WOMEN.
What we offer:
-3 sacred mushroom ceremoies -2 sweatlodge (temezcal) -Integration circles -chef prepared vegetarian meals -Ecstatic dance -yoga, meditation, community acupuncture -music and song workshops, art integration workshops -hiking, mountain biking, horse back riding -Unforgettable Dia de los Muertos celebrations and private dinner in Oaxaca!!
It's time to reclaim your life. Join our powerful circle of international healers in October and relclaim who we really are.
ONLY 5 SPACES left! Message us today to claim your rightful place.
All my love,
Founder Luz Eterna Retreats